MANY MANY DEATHS!!!!
What you did not see in The HBO adaptation
coming on HBO 2014 (Spoilers)
Because of the sheer size of A Storm of Swords the book was broken up in two and viewers will not be able to see the second half til 2014 on HBO. For those who cannot wait, here’s my good deed for the month.
WARNING-Nothing but SPOILERS AHEAD!!! read at your own detriment!!!!!!!!!!!
Joffery is dead. yes, praise Jesus, praise Allah or whichever God you serve. Though it was a lame sorta death, dead is dead. After Sansa Stark was forced to marry Tyrion Lannister, Balon Greyjoy and Robb Stark drops dead and the Lannisters declared to have won the war, Cersei went on to plan the wedding of Margery Tyrell and Joffery (that jerk). At the wedding, Joffery of course is being his sadist self and decided to take a swing from his kingly chalice. Alas the wine was poisoned and as much as he clawed and clawed at his throat (until it bled) and as much as Cersei wailed and wailed (she was the only one who cried for him) the King drop dead 🙂
Who did Cersei blamed for Joffery’s death, Tyrion of course. Tyrion was arrested and Sansa flea with the help of Petyr ‘Littlefinger’ Baelish who took her to his home and then finally to her aunt Lysa in the Eyrie (more of that later). In the midst of all this, Jaime Lannister and Brienne finally reach Kingslanding where Brienne was promptly arrested for Renly’s murder. Jaime became Lord Commander of the Kingsguard and refuse Tywin Lannisters(who’s now basically king) offer of Casterly rock. Continuing his chivalry, Jaime freed Brienne, gave her a sword and send her off on her original task of finding the Stark girls.
Tyrion is on trial for Joffery’s murder and being the bitch that she is, Cersei got many, many people to confess that they saw him poisoned her son’s cup (including shae-Tyrion’s whore). In short Tyrion was doomed. Of course he could not be the smartest person in the book and be put to death so foolishly. Enter Oberyn Martell (he carries a grudge from the Baratheon wars when the Lannisters murdered his sister who was married to a Targaryen at the time). He offers to fight for Tyrion against Cersei’s champion Ser Glegor Clegane, he lost but Tyrion escaped with the help of Varys and Jaime. Now this is another of my favourite part in the book. Tyrion kills his father Tywin Lannister.
LOL. so Tywin was busy getting it on with Shae (the love of Tyrion life and a conformed prostitute and maid to Sansa Stark) in the Kings bedroom when Tyrion burst on the scene through one of the many secret passages at King Landing. Tyrion burst on the scene, saw what’s happening, kills Shae and shoot Tywin in the gut with a crossbow after he was taunted that he wasnt man enough to do it.
The death of Tywin and joffery gave me so much joy I actually got up and do a little dance. see you in Book 4 in the east Tyrion, You pint size baddass you.
I was mentioning earlier that Sansa escaped KingsLanding with Littlefinger to go to her aunt in the Eyrie. Well, Sansa is not quite as tough as Arya but she certainy isn’t a ‘little dove’ anymore. Littlefinger marries Lysa Arryn who became jealous of Sansa’s beauty. Littlefinger has great plans for Sansa and when Lysa tried to push Sansa from the top of the Eyrie in a jealous rage, Littlefinger push her over instead.
After Jon Snow escaped from the wildings he returns to the Castle Black to warn the others who fortified their defenses. The Wildings were defeated at the wall and Mance Rayder was captured and held prisoner. Stannis arrived on the Wall and ask Jon to join him in his war against the seven Kingdoms, he refused and through some political smarts by Sam Tarley he was declared the Lord commander.
Over in the East Queen Dany is being her usual badass self. After she defeated the Yunkai and gained the unsullied as part of her now growing army, she journeys to Meereen in hopes of freeing the slaves there as well. During her journey she found out that Ser Jorah Mormont and Arstan Whitebread (who saved her from the scorpian sting in Astapor) are not who they claimed to be . To prove their loyalty to her she send both of them to sneak Into Meereen to start an uprising and free the slaves there. The mission was successful and Whitebread revealed that he is Ser Barristan Selmy from Kingslanding who served as her fathers Bannerman and vow never to let her down again. Ser Jorah, who Dany found out was a spy for Varys refused to admit his betrayal of her trust and he was banished. Meanwhile Dany learnt that the freed people she left in Astapor with a council was murdered by a butcher who is calling himself King Cleon and has started training unsullied warriors once again, something Dany had banished when she freed the people of Astapor. Deciding that the city is too unsettled and her army is not quiet big enough, she decides to stay in Meereen to learn to be Queen to the people who need her the most.
After Catelyn throat got slashed, she was thrown in the river believed to be dead. Robb head was separated from his body and to add insult to injury his head was sown on his Direwolf and his crown placed on the Direwolf’s head. Many if not all the North lords were killed and captured. In the epilogue of the book, readers will get a surprise that will allow them to fall asleep after all the horror. Catelyn Stark rise from the river as some type of re-animation of herself. she joins the company of the ‘brotherhood without banners’ and sets out to avenge the events of ‘the red wedding’ starting with the capture and lynching of two Freys.
Your’e welcome 🙂